Going through a divorce can be an unpleasant time for everyone involved, full of stress, anger, emotional heartache and more. It is important to try and make the process as amicable as possible in order to save money, stress and time and to avoid any damaging impacts the change may have on your children. Utilising technology can be of great assistance, especially seeing as divorce rates grew for the first time this decade in 2016, with 106,959 divorces of opposite-sex couples representing a 5.8% increase in the UK. Make your divorce run smoothly as possible by following this simple advice.
Cooperate and Communicate
Getting a divorce should not be a battle and everything will be a lot easier if you and your partner cooperate rather than clash. It’s unlikely that you’ll want to sit down and talk things through with them, but this will be in the best interests for both of you. Now that there are so many different ways to communicate through technology – calls, texts, Skype Whatsapp – if it really is difficult for you to be in that same room with each other then there are a lot of alternatives at your disposal. The more you can work out between yourselves, the less time and money will be spent on professional help.
Communication is key throughout the whole process, both with each other, your children (if you have any) and any divorce and family lawyers. Keeping your children in the dark about what’s going on will only lead to them worrying and stressing.
Prepare the Kids
To make your divorce as easy as possible on your children it is essential that they are fully prepared. Break the news with both parents there (having practised or rehearsed what you’re going to say beforehand). Depending on their age(s), explain it in a way they will best understand, leaving any blame out of it.
It’s also important that you are fully prepared for the number of questions you can expect your kids to ask. These could be anything from the understandable ‘who will I live with?’ to odd ones such as ‘can I still play football?’ Give them advance warning about any changes so they can prepare for them, such as moving to a new house, otherwise the shock of a sudden change could cause problems.
If they’re struggling with the change then there are some helpful apps out there which can help younger children get to grips with what’s happening and help them to come to terms with the new arrangement. Kids and Divorce is a good one to start with and it’s available on both the App Store and Google Play.
Be Willing to Compromise
Part of turning a divorce battle into an amicable separation requires compromise from both sides. Acts of passive-aggressiveness and pettiness will not help at all. So if your partner needs to switch visitation nights and it won’t put you out, allow them.
This should mean that if you require a favour or compromise then they will be more willing to do so. The same goes when talking about your ex, don’t act like they never existed (especially in front of your children) as this can be damaging.
Use Expert Help
Professional divorce and family lawyers can make the process a lot easier and quicker. Such legal options can help you both head in the right direction and avoid dragging out the divorce over a long time. They will help the focus remain on your family and children, putting goals and a strategy in place to get the unpleasantness over as quickly as possible.
Dealing with a divorce can be done in an easy and relatively painless manner for you and your family with the three Cs: good communication, cooperation and compromise.